i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
