I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
