Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
