Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
