He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
4 words: hood of his car
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
