Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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