I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
