Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
