Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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