Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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