i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
