I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
