So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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