based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
