I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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