We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
