Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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