ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
