I just made out with a guy for $7.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
