another moral hangover. fuck.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
this is an emotional support booty call
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
