Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize