i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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