i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize