You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this boner is exhausting
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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