he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
