I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
