Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
