Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
