So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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