It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
