If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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