.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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