Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
