just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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