Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My dad is sitting where you rode me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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