Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
