The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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