i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
