but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
