Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize