Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
