u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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