I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
