i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
