Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
