I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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