lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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