Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
