if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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