Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
