id be glad to
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You're a waste of cheezeits
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Pooping to opera.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
