Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
