The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
