Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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