BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
