How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
