Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
