guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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