I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
