Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
